Mercy and Grace During Infertility

“So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” – Hebrews 4:16

When you spend a lot of time in the online infertility community, you start to notice a theme among all the blogs and tweets: envy and a need for grace.

So this verse struck as me as especially poignant when I read it this morning because it offers encouragement for anyone experiencing either of those challenges.

“So let us come boldly..”

When we talk to God, we can be be confident in our approach. We don’t have to worry about whether or not He’ll accept us or our prayers; He tells us to be bold.

“…we will receive His mercy…”

In the context of this verse, mercy isn’t referring to relief from suffering or pain. It’s referring to the forgiveness of our sins. I don’t believe it’s wrong to feel a sense of inner struggle or conflict when we are faced with babies and pregnant women around us. However, when left to fester, this struggle can turn into envy and envy is sin.

Some people might not agree that envy is sin. But surely we can all acknowledge that infertility can bring out the worst in us. We’ve all felt moments of shame after acting harshly toward our spouse or being rude to someone who made an insensitive comment.

The good news is that God is offering us his mercy and his forgiveness. Infertility is already a heavy load for us to carry, but we don’t have to worry about carrying sin or shame on top of it.

“…we will find grace to help us when we need it most.”

God promises us grace when we need it most. But what is grace?

It’s actually a gift or a blessing from Jesus. Some translations of the Bible use words like “credit,” “favor,” or “concession.” One Bible commentary says that grace is “God freely extending” and “reaching / inclining” Himself towards his people.

Could you use a blessing or some favor from God during your struggle with infertility? I know I could.

Let’s make sure we understand that there’s no promise the blessing will be in the form a baby. But we can be sure that He will give us what we need when we need it.

Maybe it’s patience when your husband refuses to get a sperm analysis.

Maybe it’s compassion when a friend complains about their pregnancy.

Maybe it’s peace when the money has run out.

Maybe it’s true joy when your much-younger sibling announces her honeymoon pregnancy.

Maybe it’s wisdom as you consider adoption.

Maybe it’s comfort when your treatment fails.

Maybe it’s love as you deal with your unsupportive in-laws.

Whatever you need, you can be confident that God hears you and will only give you the best when you approach him.

What blessing do you need from God right now? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.

This post originally appeared on Amateur Nester.  

About Lisa Newton

Lisa Newton lives on the Central California Coast with her husband, Tom, and their cat, Hemingway. She started blogging at Amateur Nester as a means of coping with multiple failed infertility treatments. She tries to be honest and realistic about infertility while keeping a positive perspective […]

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Comments

  1. Thank you for sharing this blog. I have been going through infertility treatments for several years due to my husband's male factor infertility. We have waited, hoped, prayed, spent a ton of money, time, pain (those shots and the physical toll on your body), been through the emotional struggle and nothing has worked. Two weeks ago, our IVF failed and we lost our embryos. We have no more financial resources or spare embryos. I am at a loss of what to do. I only want a baby with my husband. I would be so happy with one baby. And I prayed and prayed and begged and prayed and cried and prayed. I stayed positive and hopeful. And nothing worked. I feel hopeless at this point I will ever be pregnant and never saw my life this way. I understand what you mean about envy but I am more sad and angry when I see women who are pregnant or who have kids. I see women with 3+ kids and think "I would be happy with 1 God, just 1." Then I see women who never wanted kids get pregnant, women who abort their babies, or women who neglect their children. I see it so easy for most women. And I do not understand God in all this. I am afraid I may never have that experience in my life and my husband is devastated he cannot give me that as easily as any other man and may never be able to. I don't hear or feel God. So I struggle to ask God for a blessing or to ask for anything. Verses say He knows the desire of our hearts and if we ask we receive…I don't believe that. I want to believe He will be faithful but I actually do not feel anything but alone and abandoned and deeply sad. But I just browsed the web and came across this and I thank you because you nailed so many points I have struggled with regarding infertility and do not feel so alone in the struggle. Thank you.

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