God Doesn’t Have Blurred Lines

Last year, a song about blurred lines hit the top of the pop and R&B charts selling 6‑million in 29 weeks. It has a catchy tune, so people would play it in the backgrounds of their lives and hum its tune. The song depicts a man’s desire to turn a “good girl” into some sexual play toy and many of the words are explicit and definitely NOT from a Biblical worldview.

In society today, people are comfortable with blurry lines.

They're comfortable because it is a “don’t judge me,” “don’t tell me what to do,” and “anything goes” kind of world. People want the lines to be blurry because then there is no accountability. People embrace the blurry lines as long as it appears to make things go more “their way.” The problem with blurry lines is in a relationship blurry lines hurt EVERYONE!

Let me show you what I mean. God's lines are NOT blurry. He is very specific on what works in a relationship to keep things happy and healthy. When we were writing our books 10 Questions Kids Ask About Sex and The Before Your Marry Book of Questions, I wanted a deeper, clearer, accurate view of the “line” that the world is set on blurring. I took a familiar passage, 1 Thessalonians 4:3 – 8, and I looked up all the key words in the original Greek it was written in. (This is why I LOVE my Logos Bible software!)

As I learned the meaning of these key words, those words became the definition of what God was intending in the way we treat one another in relationship. Read this familiar passage (the key words are defined in the parenthesis):

It is God’s will (His desire, decision and intent) that you should be sanctified (consecrated, set apart for a holy use): that you should avoid (abstain, distance yourself, keep away from) sexual immoralitythat each of you should learn (know, realize, be aware of, recognize and have the information) to control (acquire and possess) your own body in a way that is holy (consecrated, dedicated to God) and honorable (respectful and treating it as if it has high, precious value)  not in passionate lust (passion that leads to a craving, deep desire, or lust) like the pagans, who do not know God (who do not believe in God, or have yet to realize or perceive God); and that in this matter no one should wrong (go beyond, trespass or step over) or take advantage (exploit or outwit because of a motivation of greed or self-​indulgence) of a brother or sister.

The Lord will punish (judge, avenge and bestow His wrath) all those who commit such sins (become an adulterer), as we told you (testified, admonished, instructed) and warned (predicted; told of some future happening that is dangerous and may lead to serious consequence) you before.

For God did not call us to be impure (morally or physically unclean in a way that defiles the soul by all kinds of wrongdoing or sexual profligacy [extravagance, wasteful, reckless, licentious, wicked or immoral behavior]) but to live a holy life (consecrated and dedicated to God). Therefore, anyone who rejects (refuses to accept, consider or submit to; or who nullifies or regards as nothing) this instruction (education, direction or showing the way) does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit (The Holy Yahweh, The Supreme Creator and Sustainer of the universe).” —1 Thessalonians 4:3 – 8

There is a clear line

God makes is abundantly clear that any form of sexual expression prior to a covenant marital commitment is not His plan for individuals and after marriage, sexual love is ONLY for your mate.

It is God’s will that you should be sanctified that you should avoid sexual immorality…

Why maintain the line?

The answer to this question is also in this section of scripture:

… control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable—because it has high and precious value! You are sanctified … God did not call us to be impure but to live a holy life. You are so valuable that Jesus died to rescue and redeem you. You have a high call on your life: you are consecrated, set apart for a holy use, like the vessels used in the temple.

Why maintain a line of purity and abstinence prior to marriage and faithful fidelity after the “I do”? Because God sees your body, my body, EVERBODY, as precious and of high value because we are called to live life dedicated to God — the maker of sexuality, the creator of our mind, body, soul and spirit.

God created sex so He has the right and the responsibility to give us the rules to make sex work for what he designed it for. In Red Hot Monogamy we lay out the 5 reasons God gave sex:

  • Procreation (Gen. 1:22)
  • Recreation (Gen. 26:8)
  • Reconnection (1 Cor. 7:5)
  • Rejuvenation (Song 2:5)
  • Proclamation (Eph. 5:31 – 32)

These are God’s reason for sex, but what would be our reasons to obey God’s plan?

In 7 Simple Skills for Every Woman, I tried to break this complex decision about sexuality into two simple questions:

Do you believe God loves you?

Do you believe God loves you, truly, really, deep down loves you? Do you believe God is crazy about you? Do you believe He is thrilled with the beautiful amazing creation called YOU? If you believe God loves you, then you must also believe God wants the upmost, very best for you and your life, right?

God states His love pretty simply too:

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. (John 3:16)

God PROVED His love for you and me when he died to pay the price for our imperfection, our sin, and our selfishness.

Then, we must turn that question around:

Do you love God?

Do you truly, really, love, adore, honor, respect, stand in awe and thankful gratitude of the God who created you, then died on the cross to set you free, to live life in that freedom, then be free from the penalty of sin and death so you could life in blessed glory for all eternity?

We love of God by trusting, honoring, and obeying the relationship rules He has set out. He set them out for our good, for the good of others we are in relationship with; and we obey for the good of a society that can be based on love (rather than fear, shame, power, money, leverage — or any other negative motivation evil men use to grasp and fulfill all their OWN selfish, self-​centered narcissistic desires).

Jesus summed it up simply:

You are My friends if you do what I command you. (John 15:14)

If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full. (John 15:10 – 11)

And the best part, God says at any moment, even right now, you can turn to Him and begin to follow His plan and path:

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

I highly recommend God’s plan for love, desire and sex … it has worked for us … bringing us happiness and “red hot romance” for over 35 years.

About Pam Farrel

Pam is the author of over 35 books, including bestselling Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti, Devotions for Women on the Go, 10 Best Decisions a Woman Can Make, Woman of Influence, and LOL with God: Messages of Humor […]

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  1. Really enjoyed the article. It is so important that God's people know and understand how easily outside influences can cause water down our faith and cause those blurry lines. As I continue to study the Word and God's purpose for marriage I am constantly reminded how fragile relationships can be. Also, how selflessness is key in a marriage. Again, I enjoyed your article and will site it in our couples ministry as well as in our blog. Thank you for you passion and love for the God's people. Natasha King.

  2. Thanks for taking the time to affirm this article! All of us need to be brave enough to stand for all of God's Word– including how God says love works. Thanks for being brave!

  3. All of this is so very true.

  4. This is such a disgusting concept!! I have such a hard time understanding how someone who claims to love our Lord and knows scripture can honestly think giving yourself sexually to anyone you choose at any time inside OR outside of marriage is acceptable or even Gods plan for us!!! Thank you Pam for your article sharing Gods truths thru scripture!! It's so sad people continue to insist on 'blurring' lines simply to believe that whatever they want to do is ok and acceptable!!! I pray for the world we live in!!!

  5. great article! When we focus on God and find our identity in Jesus. We will want to obey.

  6. thanks for a great article.

  7. Marriage is a uniting of two souls male and female becoming one under Christ. Anything else is not biblically based.

  8. Blurred lines leads to confusion in so many aspects of relationships. Thanks for sharing the guidance from God's Word. There is freedom in the boundaries set by God. Great article, Pam!

  9. Great truth Pam!

  10. Thank you for writing such a thorough explanation of that passage. Pretty clear line there! It breaks my heart to see so many in our world who casually disregard such important instruction from the Lord…and bring such unnecessary hurt & pain into their lives.…especially our teens. Grateful for a loving, merciful God who forgives and retores.

  11. Living in God's will is always what is best for us. When we twist His Word to fit human's will, we have to pay the consequences. He knows what is best for us!

  12. Clear lines aren't complicated. Thanks for the article! I totally support it!

  13. There are many broken people in the world and Satan is very clever in convincing them that the only way to ease their own loneliness is to share their bodies with others outside of marriage (or inside, as you pointed out). God created us as beings that were meant to be loved, and deep down, even nonbelievers know that they are beings created to be loved (and to love God). Therefore, when nonbelievers and even believers are starved for the love they were created for, Satan will tempt them with cheap knock-​offs of the real thing. We ought to have compassion for those people as with any other sinner, for ultimately, those who sin suffer on a deep spiritual level that often goes unrecognized in our increasingly secularized society.

  14. I agree with Nicole Wells, people disobey God for various reasons, and ultimately we should pray for them and not write them off as/​for "disgusting" behavior. Everyone falls short of God's glory…EVERYONE! Let's try to provide an example by our living and unconditional love in our relationships with people who may not get it right all the time. God bless

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