Last year, a song about blurred lines hit the top of the pop and R&B charts selling 6‐million in 29 weeks. It has a catchy tune, so people would play it in the backgrounds of their lives and hum its tune. The song depicts a man’s desire to turn a “good girl” into some sexual play toy and many of the words are explicit and definitely NOT from a Biblical worldview.
In society today, people are comfortable with blurry lines.
They're comfortable because it is a “don’t judge me,” “don’t tell me what to do,” and “anything goes” kind of world. People want the lines to be blurry because then there is no accountability. People embrace the blurry lines as long as it appears to make things go more “their way.” The problem with blurry lines is in a relationship blurry lines hurt EVERYONE!
Let me show you what I mean. God's lines are NOT blurry. He is very specific on what works in a relationship to keep things happy and healthy. When we were writing our books 10 Questions Kids Ask About Sex and The Before Your Marry Book of Questions, I wanted a deeper, clearer, accurate view of the “line” that the world is set on blurring. I took a familiar passage, 1 Thessalonians 4:3 – 8, and I looked up all the key words in the original Greek it was written in. (This is why I LOVE my Logos Bible software!)
As I learned the meaning of these key words, those words became the definition of what God was intending in the way we treat one another in relationship. Read this familiar passage (the key words are defined in the parenthesis):
“It is God’s will (His desire, decision and intent) that you should be sanctified (consecrated, set apart for a holy use): that you should avoid (abstain, distance yourself, keep away from) sexual immorality; that each of you should learn (know, realize, be aware of, recognize and have the information) to control (acquire and possess) your own body in a way that is holy (consecrated, dedicated to God) and honorable (respectful and treating it as if it has high, precious value) not in passionate lust (passion that leads to a craving, deep desire, or lust) like the pagans, who do not know God (who do not believe in God, or have yet to realize or perceive God); and that in this matter no one should wrong (go beyond, trespass or step over) or take advantage (exploit or outwit because of a motivation of greed or self‐indulgence) of a brother or sister.
The Lord will punish (judge, avenge and bestow His wrath) all those who commit such sins (become an adulterer), as we told you (testified, admonished, instructed) and warned (predicted; told of some future happening that is dangerous and may lead to serious consequence) you before.
For God did not call us to be impure (morally or physically unclean in a way that defiles the soul by all kinds of wrongdoing or sexual profligacy [extravagance, wasteful, reckless, licentious, wicked or immoral behavior]) but to live a holy life (consecrated and dedicated to God). Therefore, anyone who rejects (refuses to accept, consider or submit to; or who nullifies or regards as nothing) this instruction (education, direction or showing the way) does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit (The Holy Yahweh, The Supreme Creator and Sustainer of the universe).” —1 Thessalonians 4:3 – 8
There is a clear line
God makes is abundantly clear that any form of sexual expression prior to a covenant marital commitment is not His plan for individuals and after marriage, sexual love is ONLY for your mate.
It is God’s will that you should be sanctified that you should avoid sexual immorality…
Why maintain the line?
The answer to this question is also in this section of scripture:
… control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable—because it has high and precious value! You are sanctified … God did not call us to be impure but to live a holy life. You are so valuable that Jesus died to rescue and redeem you. You have a high call on your life: you are consecrated, set apart for a holy use, like the vessels used in the temple.
Why maintain a line of purity and abstinence prior to marriage and faithful fidelity after the “I do”? Because God sees your body, my body, EVERBODY, as precious and of high value because we are called to live life dedicated to God — the maker of sexuality, the creator of our mind, body, soul and spirit.
God created sex so He has the right and the responsibility to give us the rules to make sex work for what he designed it for. In Red Hot Monogamy we lay out the 5 reasons God gave sex:
- Procreation (Gen. 1:22)
- Recreation (Gen. 26:8)
- Reconnection (1 Cor. 7:5)
- Rejuvenation (Song 2:5)
- Proclamation (Eph. 5:31 – 32)
These are God’s reason for sex, but what would be our reasons to obey God’s plan?
In 7 Simple Skills for Every Woman, I tried to break this complex decision about sexuality into two simple questions:
Do you believe God loves you?
Do you believe God loves you, truly, really, deep down loves you? Do you believe God is crazy about you? Do you believe He is thrilled with the beautiful amazing creation called YOU? If you believe God loves you, then you must also believe God wants the upmost, very best for you and your life, right?
God states His love pretty simply too:
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. (John 3:16)
God PROVED His love for you and me when he died to pay the price for our imperfection, our sin, and our selfishness.
Then, we must turn that question around:
Do you love God?
Do you truly, really, love, adore, honor, respect, stand in awe and thankful gratitude of the God who created you, then died on the cross to set you free, to live life in that freedom, then be free from the penalty of sin and death so you could life in blessed glory for all eternity?
We love of God by trusting, honoring, and obeying the relationship rules He has set out. He set them out for our good, for the good of others we are in relationship with; and we obey for the good of a society that can be based on love (rather than fear, shame, power, money, leverage — or any other negative motivation evil men use to grasp and fulfill all their OWN selfish, self‐centered narcissistic desires).
Jesus summed it up simply:
You are My friends if you do what I command you. (John 15:14)
If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full. (John 15:10 – 11)
And the best part, God says at any moment, even right now, you can turn to Him and begin to follow His plan and path:
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)
I highly recommend God’s plan for love, desire and sex … it has worked for us … bringing us happiness and “red hot romance” for over 35 years.