Becoming an Effective Mentor

I remember when my friend Emily announced that she was going to ask our older friend Sherry to mentor her. My heart twisted ugly, in part jealousy and part pride.

Of course, I wanted Sherry to mentor me, and so I was upset that Emily got first dibs. At the same time, I didn’t want to admit my need for a mentor. In my early twenties, I was all about proving myself capable – to my family, to my husband, and within the Christian community God had planted us in. I simply couldn’t ask for help. I didn’t understand the gift of mentoring or the way an older generation could bless the next.

Accepting the need for a mentor

It took another ten years before I could admit to the need of having Titus 2 women in my life. No doubt, God knew I could benefit from godly women being willing to teach and train me in how to love my husband, train up my children, and live out the word for the glory of God. But my stubborn heart refused instruction, as I learned many lessons the hard way.

Many of us resist the Titus 2 call; both as the older woman and younger woman.

Do we push these biblical instructions away because we fear our weaknesses being found out?

Do we run from mentors in fear of rejection?

Do we hesitate stepping up as mentors, in fear we might not be good enough? 

As I stumbled through my late twenties and into my thirties, God softened my spirit toward biblical mentoring as I found myself in the position of being a mentor toward teens. Even though I didn’t feel old enough or wise enough, as I sought to follow Christ distinctly, God equipped me to mentor these young souls with a biblical foundation.

In the process, He also brought mentors in my life — older women willing to speak truth into my life, guide my journey of faith, pray for my heart to heal, intercede for my children and marriage. At first, I didn’t recongize the mentoring role they each filled, until I started noticing the tremendous impact they were having on my life. God was growing in me a teachable, not-​so-​independent spirit. These Titus 2 women were speaking into my life — with unspoken permission — because I was finally willing to be taught, while also learning how to teach the next generation.

Accepting the role of being a mentor

While we’re busy making excuses about mentoring, God might be shaping us into mentors who are being mentored.

This is because God is willing and able to use us on the continuum of spiritual, physical, and emotional growth, as valuable (and vulnerable) members within the family of God and beyond.

He knows the blessings of intertwining the generations together and longs for us to willingly receive that gift.

God has not only transformed me into a mentor in spite of my resistance and excuses, but He has burned a passion in my heart to equip women, like you, and to mentor their daughters and the next generation of young women.

This generation needs you to rise up and speak truth, hope, and purpose into their lives. And my guess is, you need someone doing that in your life, too. I know it may feel like a scary step of faith, but I promise you that answering the call to mentor biblically is filled with rich blessings.

Leave a comment!

Would you be willing embrace the call to mentor?


For more insight on mentoring, check out these helpful resources:

About Elisa Pulliam

Elisa is a life coach, mentor, and speaker passionate about equipping women to experience authentic life change for the sake impacting the next generation. She leads More to Be, a ministry committed to raising up mentors and providing resources for teens, twenty-​​somethings, […]

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  1. Powerful! This has been something that I have been sensing in my spirit in the last few months & my women's fellowship group shared how the church has gotten far from this but we sense the urgency of bringing it back & implementing it! This article is right on time. Thanks for sharing-​thanks for your obedience! Blessings!

  2. Profound I say and well written. We have the women's mentoring @ our Church and we are always blessed by just being with each other.

  3. Mentoring is near and dear to my heart! Thank you for this post. I was blessed to have a mentor in my life as a young teen, I've enjoyed mentoring other younger women, and I am now (in my late forties) experiencing the joy of having an older, wiser, woman mentor me again! God knows just who we need and who needs us in return.
    (my mentoring website)

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