I want a marriage that not only survives—it thrives.
I want my relationship with my husband Michael to radiate joy to our children and beyond the boundaries of our home. I want to experience love that stands the test of time, but I know in order to do that it must start with me.
Hoping to change Michael has been about as effective as untangling yarn with a cat on my lap, but working to transform myself into the woman I was fashioned to be, has changed the way we live and the way that we love.
Over time I’ve come to learn that it’s only when I change myself that my surroundings begin to mold to my shape.
I’m reminded of a pair of jeans that I tried to fit into right after the birth of Nathaniel. They had long been my favorite, but one look in the mirror convinced me it was time to break up. Forgetting what a great fit they once were, I was annoyed with the style. All I could focus on was the excess skin that hung over the top like a muffin spilling over the tin. It was time to go shopping and get a new pair.
Fast forward two months: The new pair of jeans lay strewn on the bed, the baby weight had come off, and I was slipping back into my jeans one leg at a time. Once again they fit like a glove.
In the same way there have been frustrating days when like thousands of women around me, I could have given up on my marriage with Michael—times when I’ve seen his imperfections and he has seen mine; times when “glorious without limit” seemed challenging without end. Thrive or survive—the choice was ours.
But instead of giving up in search of a better fit, I worked on myself and as a result our love for each other grew strong.
I write this with a message of hope—don’t discard something that was once a great fit. When we learn to respect, honor and cherish our husbands the way God wants us to love, marriages are transformed. Husbands treat us differently when we treasure the men that they are.
There is no such thing as hopelessness when our eyes are fixed on God. God transforms the impossible into the possible. He offers the unpromising a promise. He gives strength to the weak. He encourages the discouraged. There isn’t one troubled marriage that God cannot fix. Is anything too hard for the Lord? Absolutely not!
Don’t give up too quickly. Don’t quit too soon, lest you leave before the harvest comes in.
I have seen the harvest that patience has brought, and with sincerity of heart I tell you: it is good—very good!