When my husband and I were engaged, he lived in Dallas and I lived in Virginia Beach. Texting didn’t exist.
We communicated through marathon long phone calls and the good old fashioned love note. James is very creative, so my notes were rarely addressed to my maiden name Arlene Kho. Oh no, they were addressed to:
My Soul Mate
And those are just a few of the names he had for me on those envelopes! My mail carrier loved to deliver my mail because every day it was so interesting. We lived long distance for about six months before we were married so I amassed quite an impressive collection of love notes.
I bought and decorated a white mail box from Home Depot to keep the letters in. Fourteen years later, I still have that mailbox and all the love notes.
I’ll let you read a little bit of my mail from November 22, 1998:
I daydream about holding your pretty little face in my two hands and looking at you in the airport.
I am forever yours,
I can’t help but smile when I read those words and remember for just a moment the great anticipation that used to be associated with the Dallas airport! Love notes, especially when they are dated, can give us a beautiful sense of perspective. Look where we have come from as a couple. Wow, I can’t believe you felt that way about me! That’s funny, I remember that!
So maybe on his birthday, Valentine’s Day, or a perfectly ordinary day, take a piece of paper and write down what you love about your husband.
Tell him what a difference he makes in your life. Shower him with appreciation. Compliment his looks, work ethic, parenting, or amazing French toast (thank you James!).
My husband once got the advice, “Don’t write anything negative down in a note because after the problem is resolved, the note is still there.” That was good advice. When you have a problem to work out, talk face to face. Don’t write a nasty letter that will be re‐read and fuel the fire long after you have resolved the matter.
Instead, save your ink for a love note. Write the kind of message you want your husband to remember and dwell upon. The kind of note you’d want your children to find 50 years from now to show them what kind of love you had with their father.