Gummy Bears

My shirt stuck to my lower back, damp with perspiration. I took a break from pedaling and looked back to check the trailer attached to my bike. Four-​year-​old Johnny looked fine. The cool breeze played in his hair as he sat there smiling, enjoying the scenery.

How I wished we could trade places…

Biking to the ice cream parlor had turned out to be a bit more tiring that I’d expected.

I didn’t factor in how much a kid in a trailer weighed. (A lot! Especially going uphill.)

“Come on, Felicia,” shouted Johnny’s older siblings. “We’re almost there!” They zoomed past me on their bikes. Reluctantly, I started up again, wondering if I would be able to walk the next day. I made mental note: no bike excursions at my next babysitting job. When we finally arrived, I told the kids, “Okay, everyone gets to choose a medium size ice cream with whatever mix-​ins you want.” When Johnny insisted on the blue cotton candy flavor with gummy bears, I asked, “Are you sure you want the blue flavor? Why don’t you try it first.” He sampled it and made an I’m‑not-so-sure-about-this-flavor face. But to my surprise, he insisted, “Yes, I want it. I want blue.”

So Johnny got blue. However, as we sat on the curb outside devouring our cold treats, I noticed that he wasn’t eating very much ice cream. He just used his little spoon to dig around and find the gummy bears.

After he ate all the gummy bears — and got all sticky — he announced, “I don’t like the blue ice cream. You eat it.” Then he promptly threw his cup to the ground, plucked my ice cream cup out of my hands, and started eating it.

“Hey, wait a minute, buddy! You wanted the blue one. I will share mine with you, but you can’t just take it.”

So, we shared. Or, to be more accurate, I had a few bites and lost my appetite after seeing his saliva dribble all over the ice cream. Anyway, the point is, Johnny only used one part of his logic in his decision: his infatuation with the color blue. It overcame his sense of taste. It outweighed  his common sense.

We often behave exactly the same way in relationships. We allow our emotions to take over.

Our warm fuzzy feelings dictate our actions instead of our minds. Instead of analyzing things with a level head, we allow our emotions to direct us.

We shouldn’t rely solely on feelings in our relationship decisions. We need to use our brains too. Otherwise, we are likely to end up like Johnny: “I don’t like it.” Once the warm fuzzies dissipate and the fun little dates are over, we realize that we weren’t as “in love” as we thought we were. In fact, we have nothing in common. Or worse, there is nothing truly admirable about our significant other’s character.

A relationship needs to be based on something stronger than mere feelings.

Feelings are always changing. Remember the Bible’s wise words: “The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked: who can know it?” (Jeremiah 17:9).

Yes, God wired us with emotions, but He also gave us a brain. So don’t become mesmerized by that handsome stranger or beautiful belle for the wrong reasons. Don’t let your desire for someone special in your life drive you to make bad choices.

Love is a beautiful thing, but we need to make sure we are not mistaking love for feelings.

So, what will you base your relationship on?

About Felicia Alvarez

Felicia Alvarez, a graduate of Liberty University, lives in Southern California and loves avocados, sunshine, and serving her Savior. Currently, she teaches dance to over one hundred students and is working on her second book. Connect with Felicia on her blog […]

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  1. Marsha Carpenter Hodges says

    Love your blog, and am adding your website to my links page.

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