Triangle Relationship

Mr. Dream Guy . . . we’ve all spent hours thinking about him. We doodled pictures of him when we were 12. We daydreamed about him during science class in ninth grade. And even in our twenties, we talk about him over coffee with our girlfriends: What color are his hair and eyes? Will he be tall or athletic? Will he be intellectual? Will he be . . . perfect?

In the past, my dream guy resided first and foremost in my mind and heart –  – a place where God alone should live. Mr. Dream Guy could do no wrong, sitting on an ivory pedestal way too high for any real man to live up to

When Mr. Dream Guy became my boyfriend, no longer just a dream, my expectations weighed him down. There was no way he could live up to my standards — nor did he want to!

This weight of perfection put a strain on our relationship, and Mr. Dream Guy became Mr. Gone in a matter of months. I was devastated because, well . . . my dream guy wasn’t supposed to break my heart!

I don’t want this to happen to you, too, so I’m sharing a simple illustration that rearranged priorities in my heart and drastically affected how I approached relationships.

Let’s have some fun. Draw a triangle and write your name in the bottom left point, and your guy’s name on the bottom right point. At the top point write God. Now put one finger on your name and one finger on your guy’s name, moving your fingers up toward the God point. As we move our fingers (which represents ourselves) up toward God, we draw closer to Him and mature in our faith. Only then do we grow closer to our dream guy in a more meaningful way. This puts God as top priority.

Here’s some Truth regarding your romantic relationships (dating, engagement, marriage):

Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:34 ESV)

We’ve got to have our own stuff with the Lord. We’ve got to take Mr. Dream Guy off the pedestal and focus on Jesus first and foremost before we dive into a romantic relationship. If you’re currently in a serious relationship, or if you’re married, it’s not too late to put God on the pedestal instead of your guy. It might take you all having some tough conversations about faith and priorities. It might also take some intense time spent with Jesus to restructure the relationship. But the result of this triangle relationship is a healthy balance that allows for the mistakes of our Mr. I’m Only Human.

I would love to hear your thoughts about the triangle relationship. Leave a comment!

About Sarah Martin

Sarah Martin has a passion for doing life and ministry with young-​​adult women. When not running after her young son or working on her laptop, she can be found getting her hands messy with craft paint. She’s the author of Stress […]

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  1. I absolutely love this post, Sarah! ♥ I've been dating a guy for about 2 months now and the "tough conversations" you describe have just started to arise. I'm so thankful we're both Christians and share so many of the same values and priorities. It's so easy in the beginning of a relationship to put the other up on that pedestal and think they can do no wrong. Thanks for the reminder that only God will ever be our "Mr. Perfect."

  2. Someone shared this with me years ago. It has worked in my life and I share it often with others. God is the most important relationship we need and with His guidance our other relationships can be successful

  3. Knowing that there exists a friend who cares , gives solace to many. Most of the problems also melt away in the presence of this Mr perfect like cloudy mist in the morning disappears in the presence of Sun.

  4. Great Post! Thank you so much for this helpful illustration!

  5. Hey Kimberly Christina! Thought you would like this article! I enjoyed it.

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