Squinting to See Him

It had been a month of agonizing silence. God felt absent and I felt so alone. What was going on? I could not bear to be told by another well-​meaning person, The teacher is always silent when the student is taking a test. With tears streaming down my face, I phoned a godly friend, “I’m squinting to see the Lord right now — please pray for me!” Have you ever had a day like that? I felt like I had not heard from Him in so long — I did not sense His presence at all. What was this spiritual drought I was in? My desperation for God’s presence was overwhelming. My friend prayed with me and asked God to reveal to me what this drought was all about.

The following morning, I was up early to pray and continue to seek answers from God. The answers finally came as I read in Acts, chapter one. When I got to verses nine and ten, I could not move on.  The verses were talking about Jesus and His ascension to heaven. Verse nine says, “After saying this, He was taken up into a cloud while they were watching and they could no longer see Him.” Then, verse ten, “As they strained to see Him rising into heaven, two white-​robed men suddenly stood among them.” It just kept leaping off the page, directly into my heart. It was just how I had been feeling over the past month! I was straining to see Him. It was almost exactly what I had said to my friend the day before.

Backing up to the beginning of verse nine, I read that Jesus was taken up into a cloud. The clouds were in the way of the followers’ view of Him. But just because the clouds were there, did that mean Jesus wasn’t there? No. They were just deterring the followers’ view of Him. That’s when their faith had to kick in. That’s when my faith needed to kick in! As God’s Word penetrated my aching heart, I began to wonder if those clouds might represent the sin, frustration and discouragement in my life. I asked God to reveal any hidden sin in my heart, repented of it, and asked Him to strengthen my faith.

I am finding as I mature in my faith that these times of drought do come, but then they are often followed up with some very sweet refreshment with the Lord. The mercy and compassion of a loving God, combined with the prayers of a loyal friend, were just what I needed to bring me through to the other side of my month-​long drought.

For Your Reflection:

Have you ever felt like you were squinting to see God or walking through a spiritual drought? What brought you sweet refreshment afterward?


About Leslie Nease

Leslie is a wife, a mother of four, an international speaker, a published writer, and a radio personality with The Light FM. Leslie was a contestant on Survivor China in 2007, where she took a very public stand for Jesus Christ in front of over 15 […]

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  1. Cheryl Teague Vaughan says:

    Thanks, Leslie! This really spoke to my heart.

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